Boyfriend Says He Is Not Ready For a Relationship

March 20, 2009 by  
Filed under commitment, Dating Advice

What does it mean when your boyfriend says “I am not ready for a relationship”? Or, he says, "I am not ready for anything serious"?

If you have been dating a guy casually and initiated “the talk” about where this relationship is going, you may have heard to your disappointment this kind of answer. What do you do when the man you really like, maybe even love, tells you straight up he is not ready for a serious relationship?

When a guy says these dreaded words, "I am not ready", we try to justify this and practically wreck our brains thinking that perhaps he was hurt in his past relationship, maybe even cheated on, and thus he is scared of his own emotions of getting too close to us.

We talk to our girlfriends and they say, yeah, he is falling too fast for you and is scared that you could hurt him. He is not ready for a relationship because he is still not over the pain his ex caused him. He is afraid that if he falls hard for you, you may hurt him as well.

Let me tell you, when a man says those words, I am not ready, that only means one thing – I am not ready for a relationship with you! YOU ARE not the one!

And then, shortly after saying those words he can be found dating someone else! Worse yet, getting completely SERIOUS about his new girlfriend! In some cases, even marrying her shortly after breaking up with you!

What to do when he is not willing to take the relationship with YOU to the next level?

Of course, there are things you can do to trigger a certain emotional response from him temporarily, but that will be a temporary fix.

If you think that your boyfriend may be a commitment phobic Click Here To Find Out Exactly How To Handle a Commitment Phobic Boyfriend!

When does a man say “I am not ready for a relationship?” Why does he continue seeing me if he says he doesn't want anything serious? I think he likes me if he keeps calling me! It just couldn't be that he doesn't like me, since he keeps coming back!

Poor dear, when a man sees a woman casually but doesn't want to get serious about her, all that means if that he enjoys her company and the intimacy they have. She is good to spend time with and to have fun with. But she is not the one! She is good for now, but not good to spend the rest of his life with!

What makes a woman go from casual to committed? Make Him Commit teaches you how to become THE ONE for him!

Did you know that most men want the same think that you do – a loving, committed partner for life?

But the problem is that men subconsciously identify certain women as 'wife material', and certain women always stay in the 'girlfriend zone' without the chance of ever getting past the line of becoming the 'wife material'!

And if you have been dating a man for a long time but he can't seem to pop the question, you may be stuck in the 'girlfriend zone'.

So, what makes a man think of a woman as 'wife material' versus 'a girlfriend material'?

Find out at Make Him Commit

See, you may be thinking that your boyfriend is a commitment phobic. Especially if you have been together for a long time, if you have been trying to convince him that you are the one for him. And you are convinced that he is the one for you.

But for some reason he can't seem to understand that.

He keeps making excuses. He needs to work on his career.... he can't afford to have children right now.... he is not ready.... he is not sure.... he doesn't know that he wants... and many more excuses along the same lines....

....and what's worse is that when he does eventually graduate from college..... and does eventually get a job..... and does get promoted..... and meets all of the criteria he was mentioning as his excuse not to commit and get married.... he keeps coming up with new excuses... over and over...

....and you finally have had enough.... you leave him because you think he is a commitment phobic...

.......and next thing you know.... just a few months later he is already engaged to someone else....

.......and you just can't understand why! Why NOT ME!

And you want to know why men commit to some women and not others...

See, men are not much in touch with their emotions and feelings... and they can't tell you what it is that's missing... he just knows it's not there... but can't explain why...

I have spent years putting together information and research on what makes a man commit and why men commit to some women and not others.... and you have all this information at your fingertips right now! Just go to Make Him Commit and learn how YOU can become the woman men marry!


14 Responses to “Boyfriend Says He Is Not Ready For a Relationship”
  1. Jim says:

    "I am not ready, that only means one thing – I am not ready for a relationship with you! YOU ARE not the one!"

    I disagree. Just happen to be a guy browsing through these posts. While I think it could mean that, that's not always the case. I've told girls I liked that I wasn't ready for a relationship and the former route of reasoning was the truth.

    Contrary to the gossip, I don't think guys go around looking for the girl of their dreams everyday. Sometimes, after a bad relationship, you are just sick of the intimacy and you want to breath. Even if you are starting to like someone a lot, you stop yourself and create space because you don't want to go there again.

  2. Dana says:

    But why will a guy continue to date a woman for months knowing he's not ready? Then when there are feelings on both ends, he shuts completely down.

  3. Ilias says:

    Hi there,
    Come On

  4. Dougles says:

    Hi there,
    Where are you from? Is it a secret? 🙂

  5. peta says:

    hey well, help me there,,,i was at a disco and this guy came to me, we spent some time together there..i didnt really wanna rush things so when he wanted to kiss me i said i didnt want to now,,so we kept talking and stayed together till the end of the night..then he said we were having a date in 10 days,,there and there,,i was surprised a lot,cos not many guys are so straight with ya,,bt i was like you should have asked me first if i wanted to bt ok why not..then we had two dates and i slept as his place,,unfortunatelly there we had sex,,i didnt really want that cos i wanted to get to know him first bt it happened anyways(willingly). then i asked him what out status was,,are we gf/bf..and he said he didnt want to have a relationship with anyone now,,it hurt me pretty bad bt i said ok, cos i liked him and i didnt want to force him..then we kept seeing each other and there i was really confused cos first he hugged me at night being totally sweet and then he didnt catch my hand didnt kiss me first like ever or touched me first or did like any steps..he introduced me to his friends and i also met his mother bt he didnt want to meet my parents. he doesnt write to me very often,,he wrote me first like 30% of messages and we talk by internet or phone like once a week,and i always have to arrange our meetings. He told me he liked me a lot bt his last relatinship ended bad, so he doesnt want to do that anymore with anyone right now,,maybe later,,what does that mean??he never makes first steps,,he never writes to me,,(found out he doesnt like sms, or icq or anything like that) ,,so what do you think i should do?..i like him and i wouldnt like to break up with him right away,,(which is not literally possible cos we are not in a relationship bt you know i mean)..please help..

  6. advocate of love says:

    hi over there
    advice me in my mother land there many girls. i want to maryy but
    most of them untruth so i fear to get pain
    so how kind of girl i can marry and which mat be can get her.
    i'm 22yrs form Tanzania, in Africa

  7. pilar says:

    my coworker who has been out of a relationship for 2 or 3 months has been flirting w me and asking me for a ride to work every day. we go to the movies - we eat together lunch and most of the times he prepares dinner and cooks for me. he is very into putting his carrer life back toguether and very very atracted to my body even though as a christian we cant do much if u know what I mean we basically haad sex with our clothes on various times.
    Then after a couple of months of this he just told me that he cares for me so much and that he wants me to be part of his life for a long time- so far so good until he told me even if that means for us to be friends because he is just " not ready for a relationship right now- he just had broken up with an ex right before he met me and he needs some time - he wants to be alone for at leats 6 months before he can commit to another girl.
    yet he keeps calling me every day to go to work toguether - to go to the gym 5 days a week and still cooks for me.
    I am tired of him being sneaky - what do you guys think-? We dont even kiss because that may lead to "pther kind of physical contact" and he is "not ready for a physical relationship yet"

  8. Vicki says:

    Im in this situation....but if i'm not the one then why does he introduce me to his family, his boss, and tell his parents about me....who live half way across the world?

  9. erika says:

    ok so here is my story and i really hope someone can relate and give me a lil advice on my situation..i met this man a couple of months ago and been seeing him on a regular ever since now theres a twist he just got out of doing 6 yrs 2 months i caught him fresh i know i know he just got out and def not ready to settle down but i just cant help myself..hes a good man and he is everything ive been looking for in a we had a brief now when i say brief i mean brief discussion about it and he said hes just not ready and he could give me 100 reasons why hes not wich i understand because hes trying to get his self settled...i never wANTED THE Topic to come up because i dont wanna scare him away because i like the way its going but at the same time i want more.i know that he knows exactly how i feel about him..i just dont know what to do or say to so at a loss for words can someone please give me advice?

  10. Pat says:

    I'm in a similar situation, We broke up last year january and then in April same year he started contacting me cos we have the son together, we have a joint house as well but we not staying together. Everyday after work he passes by my mom's place to see me and the baby. I still love him a lot so I asked if he wants to try again he says he still loves me but hez not ready for a relationship. what does it mean?

    By the way our reason for breaking up was that he cheated on me. I am not sure what hez thinking cos he doesnt like to talk much.

  11. ella says:

    but i dnt wanna loose him i love him sooo much but i also love someone eals i just really dont knw who i love but im so sad its been 4days we break up and we were together 2days!!!today he finally called my name and talked with me i was flying 😀

  12. steph says:

    So please help me out here. A guy i'ev been seeing for 2 months just said he dosnt know what he wants and dosent think he is ready for a relationship. He did confess that he was nervous and dosent want to get hurt. He was in love with this girl ( his 1st love) and she dumped him and marryed someone else but that was 5 years ago. and he's still not ready? I dont get it. he has dated other people befor me. We talk every day but its always me that suggests we do something together, but he always go along with it. I just dont understand this guy and need some advice. I do really care for him and want things to work out.

  13. hailey says:

    My boyfriend just broke up with me after 8 months, and during that time he told me he wanted to marry me and be with me forever....but now he just doesn't want a relationship. What did I do wrong? We work together and live together....its killing me and I want to cry but when I do he gets mad and says I'm making it harder for him. But he still crawls into bed with me and holds me all night and trys to hold my hand during drives. What the hell should I do?

  14. A girl says:

    Ouchhhhh hahahaha

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