My Boyfriend Doesn't Call Me For Days – What Does It Mean?

July 12, 2009 by  
Filed under Why Men Don't Call

Here is an e-mail from a reader: I and my boyfriend have been together for over a year. At first things were going great and he called me almost every day and wanted to see me as much as every day when possible. We live pretty far away from each other, but it is within driving distance. Now, we have been dating off and on, and I feel that if anything we are more like friends right now. Friends with benefits? I don't know. But here is the deal;

He is very busy with his job, and he also travels a lot for work. Recently he has also been kinda sick and had to go to the doctor. But it's nothing major.

I understand that he is busy, and he also doesn't like to talk on the phone. He only calls me when he doesn't hear from me for a long time, or when I specifically tell him that he is not calling me, so he calls me just so I won't say that he doesn't call me.

Now, he is not seeing anyone else. I know that for sure because he is always open with me, and in fact out of the two of us I think I have been more into making new friends with guys and having lots of guy friends, etc. more so than he was as far as meeting women.

He is very much of a home buddy so he is not the type to go clubbing. He'd rather stay home and do something at home then chase skirts, so I know he is not cheating.

When I call him, he usually answers the phone right away even if he is in the middle of something at the moment. And when he is in the middle of something job-related, etc. he lets me know what he is doing and that he will call me back.

But sometimes he doesn't answer the phone when I call, and can go for days without returning my phone call. Then I end up calling him again, and he tells me he was busy or out of town on business which is ok. But I personally think, how much time does it take to send a text and say, hey busy in a meeting? Or something...

It doesn't take that long at all!

I told him one time that I called and he never called me back, and that I was worried because I knew he had been sick and I was calling to check in with him and he didn't call me back. I told him that I was worried about him and that it's not fair to me to be so worried, and that he should have called me back. And I am talking, he did not call me for days.

I am a pretty patient person. I don't ask him to call me every single day, or to call me back right away. But going without calling me back for days is not acceptable.

Last time I saw him when he came over to spend a couple of days at my place. That was several days ago. Since then I never heard from him. I did not call him either, as I was busy and also because I think he should have called me at some point just to check in with me. Nothing.

Ok, some guys will say, why don't you give him a call? Well, ok, I understand I could. However I think that even if he is not calling me because he is waiting for me to call him first, if he was missing me, he would have called me regardless.

What do you think? Should I call him?

Thanks for your advice!

Ok, so this is the e-mail I received from one of my subscribers, and even though I have a specific opinion about this situation, I really want to hear from others what they think, so please leave your comment in the comment box telling us your opinion about this.

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