Does He Love Me If He Doesn't Call? How To Tell If He Is In Love With You

January 15, 2010 by Elaine Demodel  
Filed under Why Men Don't Call, commitment

I remember one guy I dated a long time ago told me that sending text messages throughout the day just telling your partner you miss them or think about them brightens their day...

And I also remembered that when I and my man started dating, he used to text me 'I miss u' all the time. I thought he had saved that text message in his phone and just hit the re-send button every time he wanted to send it to me again...

I told him he wasn't creative or original, so the next time he texted 'I love you' in Italian whatever it sounds like, I don't remember now.

I thought he was such a goof.... and you know how to tell if a guy is head over heels in love with you? It's when he seems to have lost his masculinity and has turned into a goof, a sick looking puppy.... and when he doesn't really look like he did when you first met.... like he is not the manly man around you anymore. He has turned into a little boy... the little boy he was when he was five....

And you may be surprised by the changes in him. You start to not see him for exactly the charismatic, strong leader he used to be. Now, around you, he is a little boy. He smiles for no reason. He walks on the air. And everyone who sees him thinks he is in love.

And then he opens up to you. And you can see his heart. The doors to his heart are wide open. And you can look inside. And you know he is vulnerable. He doesn't like it. But he can't do anything about it. He won't resent you for that, but he is scared. Because it's a scary place to let someone in completely.

We, women have an easier time letting others into our hearts. We are nurturers. Men are hunters. They are supposed to be strong.

He may be telling you he hates this feeling because it makes him feel weak and vulnerable. And you know he is falling for you.

So, what's changed?

I explain in great depth the process of a relationship development from the first time we meet someone to I Do in Guide To Commitment It takes two to tango... and if you don't know the relationship stages, you can miss some very critical signs and more importantly not know how to react and what to do when your boyfriend goes through those cycles.

It's not abnormal for a man to stop calling you when the initial infatuation wears off. He may cut down contact or may stop calling you completely.

What should you do? Understanding the stages of a relationship that I describe in Guide To Commitment will help you set on a path of self-development, and nurture those budding feelings without breaking anything.

Learn how to take your relationship to a new heightened level of commitment! Click Here To Read!

Comments

13 Responses to “Does He Love Me If He Doesn't Call? How To Tell If He Is In Love With You”
  1. Maricela says:

    thank you for the great article. it was very informative

  2. Phie says:

    My ex just called me.
    I tried to talk in happy tone,
    I didn't cry.
    Actually i wanted to cry.
    But i tried not to.
    I didn't show him that i need him.

    He asked me whether i still go wit him to shanghai.
    I replied yes, i'll go.
    He didn't talk bout our relationship.
    He just talk about he had to done all his work before holidays.
    N he also haven't prepared anything for holidays.

    Before we ended our conversation,
    He asked me whether i'm okay or not.
    I said, i'm okay.
    This was really hard.
    I said okay, but it was defenitely opposite.

    What should i do?
    Will he back to me?
    I love him so much..

    Help...

  3. jennifer says:

    i used to date this guy it was a long distance thing,we have never met be4,he emailed me his photo"s and i also did that from the beggining he used to call me only whn i try to kkep in touch then i told him about that then things got worse he stoped colling after someweek i send him a msg telling him that i luv him,we started charting everything was right untill last friday 4 the hole week i couldn"t get a hold of him,he didn"t respond to either 1 of my msg as usual,so i snaped out of it i started sending hurtfull things and idon"t think he will ever tolk to me again,i want an advise how to get him off my mind,i want to just forget him from the beggining i sow he doesn"t love me but i kept pushing but now i think is i will have to be strong and live withought him BUT I JUST DON"T KNOW HOW!PLS HELP

  4. jennifer says:

    why do i keep missing him when i have moved on

  5. antoinette says:

    A guy can be really into you.. But if you start acting crazy in 3to4 weeks. It run's them of be yourself. Do think about the relationship. Exchange shoes with the person your dating. When I say crazy that how I acted. I can run someone off fast. Because, I don't like getting to close. People who like me would be gone. Just because somecall or don't call doesn't mean there into you. There's a lot of actor out here.

  6. Hycinth says:

    I met a guy on the 14th of April 7:00 in the morning, he asked for my contact number i gave it to coz i was on my way to work. After few minutes he called asked if we can meet late and talk and i said ok lunch time he called me again and check if i was fine i said i'm fine before i knocked off he called me again and asked me what time he see me i told 7:00 in the evening.
    He came at 7:00 and picked me up we went to wimpy for drink and talk, he started to tell me how felt about e the minute he saw me and i told him that i don't wan't to get hurt he said if i can be inlove with him i won't regret, i gave him a chance we started to call each other after few weeks he wanted to come to my place and i said i won't let him to come to my place coz i'm staying with my kids i first want to see where this relationship is going before i can inruduce him to my kids from there he changed he never call like he used to before he make excuses when i want to see him, when i want to go to his place he doesn't want me to go please help me if this guy is still loves me or i was wrong by telling him that i can't introduce him to my kids before i see where the relationship is going.

  7. Sharon says:

    I feel the aching of each & every one of U; I have been there too. However, what women do over & over again is drop their lives, their activities, interests as soon as they meet a man they think may be Mr. Right. Men don't do that: they carry on per normal and fit a relationship in where it works, if they are interested in pursuing one.

    Men are hunters by nature and they prefer to do the chasing. Women need to back-off & do something else when they feel the urge to phone, text or e-mail him yet again. If he is interested he will be calling, however on his time frame & on his terms. Once there is a real solid connection, negotiations can take place about what works for which party when.

    The man who stopped calling when U mentioned kids, probably doesn't want a relationship where there are kids. Maybe he has his own or he doesn't want any. U can phone him & ask him; however he would have put me off by calling me so frequently the first day we met. That would have been a red flag for me that he may have a tendency to be possessive, impatient, wants instant gratification.....? I may not have answered the phone the 3rd & 4th time if I recognized the #. I would check the message to see if anything had changed; and I may even reconsider meeting him that evening.

    Phle, if he is asking u to go to Shanghai, isn't that a signal that he still cares? If he asked if U were ok, isn't that another signal that he cares? What exactly are U upset about? What is it U want that he is not giving U. Try writing your feelings down & pinpoint what U want that he is not providing to U.

    Jennifer: Long distance relationships are very difficult, even when U know the person before the move happens. I have experienced that. If U have never met him, how do U know how U feel about him? How do U know he has sent U a photo of him & not someone else?
    U came across as desperate & needy, and didn't give him a chance to ask U to meet or anything.
    Again, U may want to try journalling as well. What do U want from a relationship with a man? What is negotiable? What is not negotiable?

    Those are my thoughts. I am not passing judgement on any one of you ladies. I have recently had to email someone I cared for to let them know my disappointment that his words & actions are not in synch & as a result I have re-newed doubts about any feelings he says he has for me. I was angry when I wrote the e-mail, and I wondered if I should send it or think about it first. I decided to send it & I don't regret it. I haven't heard back from him & maybe I won't. I am at peace with that.

    Find a place of peace for yourself & stop thinking about what he wants. Take care of yourselves first.

  8. Leslie says:

    Im talking to an old friend, who has moved away, and we have became very close. He actually calls every day and spends alot of time talking to me. Im starting to grow feelings for him but im not sure if we are just friends. Im afraid to say anything because I dont want to scare him off. I want to know if he feels the same. He has texted me saying he thinking about me but we never talk about being together. I know the biggest issue we have is the distance. Im going to visit him for his birthday in a couple weeks and I want to know how do I ask him to take it to the next level without losing him as a friend if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me? Any advice?

  9. sonia says:

    hi i hve been dating this guy for 7 months now, 3 months ago he told me he just met and fell in love with a lady,i felt very hurt bt i dnt show it, well he never really said he loved me,so i suggestd break up since he has new lady,he doesnt like to hear break up from me,i have tried to pick an argment wit him in order to break up wit him but he still keeps coming back ,he said im nis best friend, he tells me almost everything abt him and this new lady which i hate to hear sometimes he calls me even when he is wit her to tell me he is thinking abt me or wit several txt.can one be in love wit two at a time? or is he fooling me?pls help me

    • Nikki says:

      To Sonia,

      I think he is using you as a back up. If I was in your shoe, I'd play the game and make him crazy, like being sweet and nice, and looking gorgeous, going out for dates with other potential men who would want to love me or give me the attention I need, I will not let him get intimate with me. Because he can't have you and her at the same time, besides, he seems very sefish, to know that your feelings are hurt and he won't accept a break upfrom you to allow you to move on, that is lame.

      You should not let him walk all over you, just stay pretty and happy and let him call you, never call him and reply his texts only occasionally, let him know that you cannot sit around and wait for him, you have a life and you haveto create a great life for yourself.

      Keep your head up high, and move on, if he does not catch up with you and dump that girl, then he's just not that into you and he doesn't deserve you, stop putting yourself down.

      Lots of Love for you

      Nikki

  10. Roya says:

    tnx alot for your great article,it really works like others.
    i am trying hard to be ur best student in this college,i read ur article carefully and work on my behavior.now im not that weak girl that i used to be.
    im in love with a guy for about 9 years but frankly speaking ive jst learn how to treat him.tnx again.

  11. Misery to the gods
    An apt title for this step would be pre order your diamond and cut your heart up
    Did not know there were steps to a relationship
    What is the next step

  12. Rachel says:

    Hi, tnx 4 ur article.lt's been vry helpful 2 me. Pls, l'm in a long distance relationship with a young guy. I'm 30yrs n he's 24yrs.lt hapened dat in d beginning d relationship was sweet, d comunication was wondaful, like we cal each other evryday n we do txt each other quite often.But nw, it's nt like dat anymore.He doesn't cal or txt like before.l mean it takes him like 2-3 days before caling,l'm d one who cals often now.Though l've asked him why, he gives me feable excuses.Although bcos of d age diference between us, we've agreed we're nt geting maried, so we decided 2 remain best of friends til each of us maries.my problem nw is dat, he was vry loving n caring initialy n all of a suden he changed. So nw l dn't believe it wen he tels me he loves me, l'm beginning 2 doubt his love 4 me.so nw bcos of d new development, l'm thinking of ending it with him but l don't know how. Pls, l need ur help in dis matter, l'm really fed up with him. Tnx.

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