I think he is using you as a back up. If I was in your shoe, I'd play the game and make him crazy, like being sweet and nice, and looking gorgeous, going out for dates with other potential men who would want to love me or give me the attention I need, I will not let him get intimate with me. Because he can't have you and her at the same time, besides, he seems very sefish, to know that your feelings are hurt and he won't accept a break upfrom you to allow you to move on, that is lame.

You should not let him walk all over you, just stay pretty and happy and let him call you, never call him and reply his texts only occasionally, let him know that you cannot sit around and wait for him, you have a life and you haveto create a great life for yourself.

Keep your head up high, and move on, if he does not catch up with you and dump that girl, then he's just not that into you and he doesn't deserve you, stop putting yourself down.

Lots of Love for you

Nikki

Men are hunters by nature and they prefer to do the chasing. Women need to back-off & do something else when they feel the urge to phone, text or e-mail him yet again. If he is interested he will be calling, however on his time frame & on his terms. Once there is a real solid connection, negotiations can take place about what works for which party when.

The man who stopped calling when U mentioned kids, probably doesn't want a relationship where there are kids. Maybe he has his own or he doesn't want any. U can phone him & ask him; however he would have put me off by calling me so frequently the first day we met. That would have been a red flag for me that he may have a tendency to be possessive, impatient, wants instant gratification.....? I may not have answered the phone the 3rd & 4th time if I recognized the #. I would check the message to see if anything had changed; and I may even reconsider meeting him that evening.

Phle, if he is asking u to go to Shanghai, isn't that a signal that he still cares? If he asked if U were ok, isn't that another signal that he cares? What exactly are U upset about? What is it U want that he is not giving U. Try writing your feelings down & pinpoint what U want that he is not providing to U.

Jennifer: Long distance relationships are very difficult, even when U know the person before the move happens. I have experienced that. If U have never met him, how do U know how U feel about him? How do U know he has sent U a photo of him & not someone else?
U came across as desperate & needy, and didn't give him a chance to ask U to meet or anything.
Again, U may want to try journalling as well. What do U want from a relationship with a man? What is negotiable? What is not negotiable?

Those are my thoughts. I am not passing judgement on any one of you ladies. I have recently had to email someone I cared for to let them know my disappointment that his words & actions are not in synch & as a result I have re-newed doubts about any feelings he says he has for me. I was angry when I wrote the e-mail, and I wondered if I should send it or think about it first. I decided to send it & I don't regret it. I haven't heard back from him & maybe I won't. I am at peace with that.

Find a place of peace for yourself & stop thinking about what he wants. Take care of yourselves first.