He Didn't Call After a Second Date |Hot Date But He Never Calls

July 13, 2010 by Elaine Demodel  
Filed under Why Men Don't Call

If you remember this weirdo texting guy who wanted my subscriber to text him a dirty picture of her, which she didn’t, she went against all the advice given to her by me and everyone else who commented on my previous blog post and actually did end up having a hot date with this guy.

Here is how it went. They had exchanged a few text messages in the course of setting up the date. When he asked her through text messaging what she wanted to do she said she wanted to go to a hot tub room. He made all the arrangements and they went to a private hot tub room.

I will leave out the names for privacy and all the graphic details to the extent that I can, but will say that she reports that they did not have an intercourse or even oral sex of any form but they did fool around in a private hot tub room he rented for an hour which was HER idea (sounds like something men do when they get a hooker LOL) which resulted in his ejaculation.

He told her she was beautiful, had a great body, blah, blah, blah.

He never called her after that. It’s been a little over a week. She shared with me her conversation she had with the guy during that date, and as I see it he did not call her as a result of what she had said to him (nothing bad or mean); but I will address this conversation and why he didn’t call her after that at a later time in one of my next blog posts. First I want to hear what you think about their second date and why he dropped the ball and didn’t call after this hot second date.

As a side note, I really like Gina’s clairvoyant comment on the previous blog post – the first part of this story. Here is what she said:

..."I got it going on like that and only out for a good time...ready to be another notch on my belt?" You can be naive enough to believe this might be a possible "good catch" but believe me you'll be just another collected phone pic he shagged before moving on to the next dame he meets for a cheap date at her local dive"... because this is what actually happened after, so this is actually funny, but I’ll tell you in just a sec.

The only point I disagree with in Gina’s comment is naming the girl in this story "Ms. I Wanna A Relationship" because it doesn’t sound to me like she actually wants a relationship with this guy. She refers to him as a "tool" which she wants to keep in her Rolodex for when she feels like seeing him again for another hot date. But here is the funny part: she actually wrote to me because she thought it was hilarious.

She said it was awkward and funny at the same time. She had gone out on a nice date at a park (her initiative again) with another guy. It was cold and windy and they had decided to continue the date some place warmer. As they drove back to town from the park there was nothing on a side of the road except a stinky dive that smelled like bathroom. Not having any other options in close proximity her date offered to stop by there to play a game of pool. They went in and her date approached the counter to order drinks. She followed him, got a sit next to him and they got the drinks. The dive was relatively busy and there was a young couple sitting to the right from to her date. The guy was sitting beside her date with his back facing toward her, as he was engaged in a conversation with his date who appeared to be very pretty. As my subscriber’s date went to rack the pool balls the other guy (the one sitting next to them at the bar) turned around and their eyes met. It was the guy from the hot tub!

“Hey, hey,” he said.

“Oh, hi,” she said. They started laughing.

The guy had no choice but to introduce her and his date to each other. She said it felt funny, awkward and bizarre.

The moral of the story – if you are into playing the field don’t date in your own backyard unless you really don't care and are cool with that!

I am sure you have a lot to say, so please leave your comments here and take a wild guess as to why he didn't call and I will tell you the rest of the story shortly, so stay tuned!

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Comments

8 Responses to “He Didn't Call After a Second Date |Hot Date But He Never Calls”
  1. Sharon says:

    I cannot imagine what this gal is thinking - initiating a hot tub date? and then with 2nd guy agreeing to go into a joint?

    in my opinion she does not have very high standards for herself. However to each her own. Those would not be my choices. I would not want to be in a hot tub with a man I don't know, and I am not fond of them at any time.

    A joint is a place I might go with someone I knew well to have a beer in the summertime and play pool. But would not be a first or second choice. The car was warm & they could have proceeded to a more attractive place.

    • Tanya says:

      Maybe that's what she likes. I wouldn't pass judgment onto someone for being into dive bars or hot tubs.

      It's like saying you are wrong for having red hair, you should have blond.

      We are often quick to judge others because they are not as 'classy' as us, or not as 'down to earth' as us, because their skirts are shorter than what we'd put on, or because their lipstick is too bright, or because they wear too much makeup or no makeup at all, or because their car is too fancy, or because their house is too big or not big enough.

      • Sharon says:

        Not passing judgement; just saying getting into a hot tub with a man you don't know, there should be no surprise that he tries a sex move or may not call again

  2. Sharon says:

    Only he knows why he didn't call back; however she is exhibiting behaviour of a female who wants action, not a relationship. So he went along but not for a recall.

  3. Gina says:

    Hmmm. So without knowing specifics of the conversation with guy #1, I can only imagine or guess that our girlfriend mentioned having a relationship prior to being physically involved with him and thats when he "handled his business" the cheesy way and jet-fueled outta there. Btw - my apologies for the inclination of referring to our friend as "looking for a relationship" although it did seem in her initial dialogue that her interest went beyond an added rolodex file on an "as-needed" basis. And if you're out only for fun you really dont need a lot of advice.

    Personally I dont believe men are as complicated as we make them out to be. Either they are ready for a relationship or they're not...and either you someone they're interested in spending long-term time with while moving into a more tangible relationship, or they (like we do) move on to the next.

    I think men also minutes after they meet you immediately size you up on how you carry yourself and/or what they can or cannot get away with. Personally a first date to a park and a 2nd date to the hot tub is unacceptable to me and discussing intimacy during the first 3+ dates is an immediate turnoff.

    As a woman, I also think like the typical man when it comes to how I size men up (if he moves or acts too fast physically) as far as pondering "if he wants to shake the sheets this quick, who else or how many others has he gone through or accomplished this with." Also, I have men friends who say they cant believe how easy it is out there for them in the world of women making themselves physically available without prior commitment. As old fashioned as it may seem....men still do prefer a challenge.

    • admin says:

      Hi Gina,

      You are spot on as far as "Either they are ready for a relationship or they're not..."

      Without disclosing the conversation that took place which like I said I'll share the summary of it later, yes she wants more than a hook up but she does not want a serious relationship with this guy after "probing" him (not in a sexual sense though).

      I have to say this is not the first time I encounter a situation in which a woman wants a casual relationship while looking for something substantial with SOMEONE ELSE.

      Both men and women do that. Men do so more often though. I talk in more detail about it on this page and in my Commitment Book, in which I reference actual studies done on couples in which multiple men said they were "killing time" with their current girlfriends while looking for their "princess".

      P.S. In my experience I have encountered several women who were ok with having a casual relationship. I do say in my book Why Men Stop Calling the fact of having sex does not equal a relationship and you should decide if that's what you want and go into it without expectations of a relationship, so be prepared that the outcome will likely be a casual "no strings" relationship; decide for yourself if you will be ok with that or if you should kick him to the curb.

  4. Gina says:

    P.S. If a guy is only out looking for a "good time" you could show up praying the rosary and he still wont take you serious.

  5. Gina says:

    Looking forward to future posts. I will say the difference between women killing time and men killing time is often sexual. I believe we (women) are more prone to be emotionally involved when the physical part comes into play than men are who are known to be physical for the sake of releasing sexual tension for the sake of doing so with no feelings or strings attached.

    I still say do your homework when getting to know someone prior to jumping in the hot tub, otherwise expectations and assumptions become too confusing.

    I also feel that women more so than men state that they're only interested in a casual relationship (with benefits) but over a period of time want something more after all. For me "casual" means nothing beyond holding hands, hugging and kissing which means one or two things.....1. I'm just not that into you in the first place or 2. checking you out beforehand without diving in head first.

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