My Long Distance Boyfriend Pulled Away What Should I Do

October 30, 2010 by Elaine Demodel  
Filed under Dating Advice

Are you in a long distance relationship? Has your long distance relationship boyfriend pulled away? Find out how to handle this situation in a way that will bring him closer to you again. Here comes an email from a subscriber. She asks:

Hello Elaine,

Firstly, thank you for your material...it was very informative and has helped a lot during a very confusing time. My long distance boyfriend and I haven't "broken up" per se, but he did say he needed a sabbatical and some space for a while. It was around 3 weeks and he came back with heart felt apologies and even said "I love you" but that he is still confused. He even said what he used to say, that our connection was "serendipity". I feel that I have been playing it very cool and have taken your advice wisely. However, I don't know what to do now. I told him that it'd be a shame to let this wonderful friendship go, so we are at least that and he didn't like how platonic that sounded and asked me to not give up on him yet. He said "don't be done with me". We had a conversation about what happened in the relationship, and it was him that brought it up. I was cheery and confident and proved that my life goes on even without him in it, which it does. Do I let him continue to come back to me silently? Or is it ok to send him a text now and then to let him know I'm still "in it", or call him? I did text him after our conversation, but I waited 2 days and only said "hi, how are you?", he responded immediately with "hey, am I really that mean??". There seems to be so many rules here while things are so fragile that it is frustrating, and it feels like playing games (which I hate) but he really is a great person that did a jerky thing..not just a jerk all around. I want the ball in my court and I think it is worth it because we are amazing together in many ways. Help!

Thank you SO much!! This has all helped me bring things into perspective and not react crazily as the Scorpio in myself would have liked to do!

Dear Long Distance Relationship Sufferer,

When your boyfriend says he wants space you should give him that space. In a long distance relationship you already have space, so when he pulls away he may be reconsidering your relationship and his commitment to it. He may be thinking that surviving a long distance relationship may be tough and he doesn't want to get hurt when you eventually grow apart.

I teach long distance partners how to stay connected in my Long Distance Relationship Guide so I recomment you pick up a copy and go over it in details to find out how to keep your long distance relationship alive and thriving!

Comments

3 Responses to “My Long Distance Boyfriend Pulled Away What Should I Do”
  1. pell grants says:

    Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

  2. folmeerah says:

    hi
    i am in a long distant relationship.at first,he calls or text,telling me how he misses me.then he stopped calling and texting,so i started texing him but he replies all my messages.i called him once and we talked.he is not calling again.he pulled away and i have been restless.
    What do i do to get him back?i dont want to loose him.
    Thank you.

    • SY says:

      @folmeerah: I'm in the same situation as you. My BF forgets to call every two days or so, and I have to constrain myself from contacting him. IMO, he will remember to call/ contact you if he truly misses you. Just give him space and allow him to show you his love instead of you asking for affection.

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